Civil War Conan O'Brien Look-Alike

"Marshall Twitchell was a soldier in the Civil War and later served for the freedman's bureau in Louisiana. Twitchell was born in Vermont in 1840, and lived there until he enlisted in the Union Army."

this is my new favorite picture in the world. haha. if i could get the rest of my family to agree, this would be our Christmas card this year.


"the confederate army has just won several battles, this doesn't seem like it's going to be as easy of a war as we thought. do you have anything to add, Twitchell?"

"keep cool my babies! we'll beat them eventually. i wasn't with a woman until i was 35 years old but eventually i got past that....haha, i was a nerd!" *knocks over wooden microphone* "this war will never air."

Space Chimps

don't worry people who made Space Chimps your movie only made, uh, 151 million dollars less than the Dark Knight this weekend at the box office.... what matters is you tried hard. and hey! you only made 3 million dollars less than Wall-E, a movie that's been out for 3 weeks already.

look at it this way Space Chimps you made way more money than all those movies that never got released because they never got past the written stage! that's something right?!

personally i'm looking forward to the sequal, that finishes in 9th at the box office and that even i won't see, because they'll probably release it during Spiderman 4's opening weekend.

Man Dresses as Simon Cowell...Sort Of

[July 16] "Calvin Morett, the 19-year-old from Saratoga Springs, N.Y., who dressed as a 6-foot-tall penis at his high school graduation, publicly apologized for the stunt. The apology was part of the judge's sentence after Morett pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct." ( via weirdnews.about.com)

i'm guessing this guy didn't have to dress up like a giant penis for everyone to know that he was one already.

i think we, as a people, need to stop this guy from having children. there's no kid in the world who deserves to grow up hearing about his dad dressing up like a giant genital for his high school graduation. it just has 'therapy' written all over it.

"I feel him all over you too Thelma"

this preacher really feels the holy spirit, and perhaps the effects of slight Tourettes.



i would love to see this guy order at a fast food place.

"i'd like a Whopper, WITH CHEESE!!!! a small coke AND FRENCH FRIES!!!!! i love burger king, GOD!!!!!!!!!!"

Let Dr. Crocker Heal The Pain

move over Dr. Phil. Chris Crocker has found the cure for depression and reaches a new level of disturbed in the process.

this clip may be over a year old, but i think advice like this is, well, timeless.

My Return

hello everyone i'm back, finally. i can't say that i had a really exciting time and i sure didn't get a tan...in Ohio. but i guess it was sort of nice to get a break from the norm.

no cable tv forced me to watching the only channel on grandma's tv that comes in clear, PBS. so i often found myself watching things like this



you should all be proud that i didn't stab myself in the eye with one of grandma's forks she probably bought sometime before 1958.

other than hours of PBS some other things i did include the following.

- i listened to a 30 minute conversation about trees...don't ask

- while i watched one of my relatives cats lick it's private area i had an epiphany about life

- found me and an 85 year old woman disagree on whether or not 8:30 is late at night or not

- i questioned the The Man In The Yellow Hat's monkey caretaking skills (he let Curious George build a tree house...yeah, that's smart)

- i listened to some where in the area of 750 of just over 800 hundred songs i have on my mp3 player...ahh, boredom

- i saw Mr. Rogers play miniature golf, you don't know how hilarious that truly was


anyway, my trip was...a trip. i'm glad to be back.

i'm excited about The Who Rock Honors on Vh1 tomorrow. should be awesome. until tomorrow listen to a classic Who song. until next time and...who are you?!

When We Vacation, We Vacation

after today i will be gone for two weeks on what i suppose my family calls a "vacation". we will be going to sunny, extravagant...Ohio? yeah.

a lot of people go to the beach or a ski resort for vacation. me and my family go to Ohio, the state that only matters during the presidential elections or when some crazy guy is shooting people on Ohio highways.

what do we do? we sit in my grandmother's house and do nothing. she has no cable tv, and just got air conditioning last year...maybe by 2020 she'll get a microwave! i can only hope...

other than sitting in her house wearing out our vocal cords trying to get a woman (who must be in some sort of protest against hearing aids) to hear half of the things we say, i don't know what we'll do...maybe we'll get into a heated debate again with Drew Carey as to whether Cleveland does or does not rock. Lord knows, last year that didn't end well. again sorry, Drew Carey, we didn't know grandma had a shiv on her.

the only great thing about my vacations to Ohio is my music. i spend hours listening to my favorite tunes. without it i might end up being the next crazy guy killing people on Ohio highways.

in fact, i think i'd like to leave you with a tune i've been listening to quite a bit lately. Wonderboy by Tenacious D. Rock on and enjoy.